Bleach Does Disney Land
by bmlee722
Summary: When the captains beg for a vacation, They decide to go to Disney Land where they might just end up driving each other insane. T for alcohol and references to sex. NOT Lemon or Yoai or Yuri ect. Reviews requested.
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

"Ha," belted out Captain Kenpachi Zaraki, "Yeah right. Like Old Man Yama would ever allow that."

"And besides, if it's againts head law, I'm out," said the Captain of Squad 6.

"What? Are you kidding, Byakuya? It was you and Zaraki who came and got me to be in this stupid plan." Hitsugaya pointed out.

Kenpachi's and Byakuya's faces went blank. He was right. It was their plan.

"See, you know it too," said Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of the 10th Division.

"Well we deserve a vacation! We work our butts off every day and get 'Good job, Captain' or 'Amazing work, Captain'" Kenpachi mimiced Yamamoto, "Besides, Byakuya and I found a really good tourist attraction for a really great price."

"Oh yeah and what's that, Misters Catptain of squads 10 and 6?"

"Disney Land!" They said at the same time.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me."

* * *

After pleading their case to Yamamoto, he finally gave them a vacation. This is...

**BLEACH DOES DISNEY LAND**


	2. 11th Division's Day

__

11th Divisions Day

Kenpachi stood in the airport with Yachiru on his shoulder and Ikakku. He was wearing a floral Hawain shirt, Yachiru was wearing a matching one and Ikakku was wearing a white tee shirt.

"Alright fine, I got our tickets. I just don't know why you all feel the need to call me 'slave' and boss me around. I mean I got you breakfast, packed you suitcases, and payed for the tickets. Why? Why?" begged Yumichicka Ayasegawa.

"Because you whine the most," Kenpachi passed out the tickets, "Show us the way, Slave."

"I hate you all."

* * *

  
Yumichicka, Ikakku, and Kenpachi sat on the plane. Yachiru sat next to Kenpachi, but was pouting because they made her sit in a "little kid's" seat. "This isn't fair Kenny. Can't Slave sit in the kids seat and I sit by Cue Ball?"

"Yachiru, we all know Slave should be sitting in the kids seat, but if you don't sit there we can't go."

Yumichicka collapsed his head in his hands.

"What's wrong, Yumi?" asked Ikaku.

"Wait. What did you just call me?"

"What? Yumi? Short for Yumichicka. Why do you ask?"

"Oh Please, Please! get Kenpachi and Yachiru to please stop calling me Slave."

"Sure, whatever," he said, "Yo, Ken, Yachiru, don't call Yumichicka slave anymore."

"Alright." said Kenpachi.

"Whatever, baldy." said Yachiru.

Yumichicka stared blankly at Ikakku. "How did you do that?" he asked.

"Well, they don't listen to you. Besides, we're pals right. I wouldn't let you get pushed around. I know you'd do the same for me. Right?" Ikakku smiled at Yumichick.

"Right." answered Yumichicka.

* * *

"Kenny, can we play Dan Jetsu?"

"No."

"Kentobi?"

"No"

"Was..."

"No"

"Bank..."

"No"

"Zanj..."

"No, nothing. I don't want to play anything. And leave me alone for a minute will ya."

"What's wrong, Kenny."

Kenpachi sighed. He looked across the plane at a small brunette by the front of the plane, "It's that girl. She was checkin' me out at the airport. I think she likes me."

"Well who wouldn't."

"That's true."

"And you would never go for a tramp like that."

"What did you say!"

"Hehe, just kidding. I'm looking for love, too."

"Oh yeah, my Yachiru's likin' a boy. Who is he?"

Yachiru's eyes drifted away and she inhaled and said, "Byaku-shi. He's so handsome. So dreamy. Everything a girl wants."

Kenpachi lifted an eybrow, "Wait. You got the hots for Byakuya?"

"Nothing would make me happier than becoming Mrs. Yachiru Kuchiki."

Kenpachi had to hold in his laugh. He didn't want to hurt Yachiru's feelings. Byakuya was a millionaire playboy and Yachiru was... Yachiru. And She'll find out soon enough about Byakuya and his date.

* * *

When the plan landed Yumichicka took everyones bags to their room and they headed to the park. There they rode rides all day for Yachiru. Then ate for Kenpachi and rested for Ikakku.

"I got an idea. Why don't we head to the bars around here after we're done riding, eating, and resting. The bars can be my thing," said Yumichicka.

"Ya know, kid, that's the best idea you had all day," said Kenpachi.

"Now let's ride the Magic Carpets, guys. Let's go! C'mon, lazy bum! The line is getting longer!" yelled Yachiru.

"Whatever." The group continued doing what Yachiru said until she fell asleep on Kenpachi's shoulder. Bypassing tourists commented on how cute it was, thinking Yachiru was Kenpachi's daughter. Kenpachi made no objection. Soon enough Kenpachi got a tap on his other shoulder. He turned around and it was the cute brunette.

"Oh, hey." said Kenpachi.

"You're such an affectionate father," she said in a French accent, "Where is her mother?"

"Her mother?" Kenpachi thought, "She, uh, died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm Heidi. And you are..."

"Kenpachi Zaraki. This is my... uh, daughter, Yachiru."

"She's so cute."

"Hey we were just about to hop to the bar. Wanna come."

"Oh, I say we skip the bars and head to you place."

They both chuckled and looked at each other deviously. "Here, kid, take Yachiru. I'm think I'm ready to get some shut eye." Kenpachis left with Heidi.

Yumichicka stood there with Yachiru and stared at Ikakku, "What just happened?"

"I have absolutly no idea but I know sleep is the last thing he's gonna be getting." Ikakku offered a high five and Yumichicka attempted to return it, but his hands were full with Yachiru.

* * *

Yumichicka and Ikakku found a bar with the rest of the Soul Reapers in the Downtown Disney. It was called Pleasure Island The managed to sneak Yachiru in by forging a fake ID and claiming she had a growth defect. When the guard didn't believe them they threatened to sue and to acoid a suit, he let them in. They sat at the bar and ordered shots of borboun

When Yumichicka sat Yachiru down, she woke up, "Wha where's Kenny? Where am I? And why am I with you two losers."

"Well to answer questions 2 and 3," said Yumichicka, "You're in a bar and with the rest of the Soul Reapers. We decided to meet up at this place via cell phone. Kenpachi left you with us 'cause he had 'other things' to do. And we'd appreciate it if you didn't refer to us as 'losers'. I'll let Ikakku feild the number 1."

"He's bumpin' uglies with a Frenchie."

"What!?" shouted Yachiru, "How could he. How could he bump... wait. What's 'bumping uglies'?"

"We'll tell you when you're older," They said.

"Well where's Byaku-shi?" asked Yachiru.

"I dunno. Picking up chicks probably." said Ikakku.

"Yeah and after Soi Fon turned him down who could blame him." said Yumichicka.

"I know. He's worth millions and that's still not good enough for poor runaway Soi Fon."

Ikakku and Yumichicka continued to talk and drink, but Yachiru was focused on other things. "Why isn't trying to get with me? Why does he not realize we're perfect for each other? Who could he like? And why Soi Fon?" she thought to herself. She had to find him.

A few hours later Yumichicka and Ikakku had loads of booze and lost focus on Yachiru.

"So I was say...saying," studdered Yumichicka, "Retsu Unohana is _hot _and I don't mean just 'hey your hot'. I mean smokin' hot."

"Yup... yeah... She is like... like... oh man... she's hot, man." Ikakku was struggling to stay on his chair.

"Why hello, men, may I buy you a drink?" Unohana was standing right behing them.

"Ya know, Retsu," Yumichicka stammered and tried to stand up, "You are... hot. And... and..."

Ikakku stood up, "And we wanna know... who would you rather sleep with... me... or... or..."

"Me?"

Unohana's face turned red. She knew that they were drunk and she was a little tipsy as well. Enough to make at least one bad decision. "I can't decide. I'll just have to do you both."

"Alright," laughed Yumichicka. He almost fell over, but Unohana caught him. She also helped them leave the bar and back to the hotel.

* * *

Well that was the 11th Divisions day out. It didn't make much sense, but to fill in the blanks, you'll just have to read what happened in the other's day. The stories intertwine.


	3. Byakuya's Day

_Byakuya's Day_

Byakuya bought his tickets and boarded the plane. He didn't talk much to anyone. He was too embarrassed. All his life he had money and looks and no girl had ever turned him down before. But last night he asked Soi Fon to spend the day with him and for the first time ever, a girl said no to him. It hurt more than he thought it would. He always saw his friends get turned down when he was a boy and they all cried for days and he never got why. Now he does. The whole plane ride he stared at Soi Fon sitting next to Yuroichi. He used to date Yuroichi. He was sure she was by far his favorite girlfriend.

Byakuya was asleep by the time the plane landed. He woke up and went to his hotel room. He was in between the 11th division and the 2nd division. He was alone since Renji was in the real world with his sister. and Soi Fon's subordinate was away with family, so she was with Yuroichi.

"Great," he said to himself, "I'm stuck with My ex and my first 'no' and the all-night comedy group. Yay for me." After he went inside he laid on the bed. He wasn't ready to hit the park yet. Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door. He opened it. It was Yoruichi and Soifon. Soi fon was hiding behind Yoruichi, embarassed, "What is it," he said.

"Well someones grouchy this afternoon." He secretly loved how Yoruichi teased him, "Soi Fon and I came to see if you wanted to grab lunch with us."

He stood there for a moment, "No," he said. He slammed the door, but Yuroichi put her foot there.

"Let me phrase that differently, You're going. And change into something hot."

He just noticed how he was sill in is captain's uniform and they were dressed like normal people. "Let me change first." He slapped on jeans and a ruby dress shirt and went with them to a steak eatery. As soon as they sat down, a perky waitress came to take their orders.

"Hi!" she said, "I'm Amber your waitress this evening, what will you two ladies have to drink?"

"Tequila, two," said Yuroichi.

"And what can I get for this handsome gentleman."

"Whiskey on the Rocks," his usual.

"Okay, thanks" she winked at Byakuya and left.

"Whore," said Yuroichi. She started playing with Byakuya's hands who quickly pulled them back, "What's wrong Little Byakuya."

"I think I need some air," Byakuya stepped up and walked outside. He stared at the city. It was nothing like the Soul Society or Karakura Town. He felt out of place. He looked over. Soi Fon had come outside with him.

"Byakuya," she said, "I really like you, but..."

"I don't need an explaination. It's okay."

"No, you deserve an explaination. The reason I said no is because... because I can't disobey Lady Yuroichi."

"What?" Byakuya was intriuged.

"Lady Yuroichi recently broke up with Kisuke Urahara and has been talking about seeing you again. She said this trip could bring you two closer, but I didn't know what to do when you asked me out. I would've said yes, but... but... you understand right?

Byakuya thought for a while. He did understand. He did the whole time really. He smiled and said, "Of course. I mean what was going to happen between us anyway, right?"

Soi Fon laughed, "Yeah, I guess escaped a silly fling," she laughed more.

A silly fling. Was that what all of his relationships were? Silly flings.

* * *

After dinner the three skipped the park and headed to the bar. They drank, shared stories and goofed off. Byakuya felt really connected to them. After a while Yumichicka, Ikakku, and Yachiru came in. He was surprised to see them without Kenpachi.

"I gotta go pee," he said, "I'll find you guys later," He headed to the bathroom and went to a urinal and started his buisness when Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi came in.

"Hey, Captain," said Byakuya, "How're you."

"Bad," said Mayuri, "I've been stuck with shorty, the horn guy, sweet tooth, bull frog, and my bitchy daughter in 90 degree weather with whiny snot-nose little brats while waiting in a five mile line to sit down and get jerked around for 8 seconds then repeat the process over and over and over."

Byakuya chuckled, "Wow, that was a mouthful. I got a little luckier."

"Yeah, is that right. how so?"

"Well, I had dinner with two beautiful women, and got fought over. Then he came here, had drinks and talked. Nothing bad about it."

"Well, I was being chased all day by kids with autograph books calling me Jack Skellington for some reason."

"Strange, well see ya, buddy."

Byakuya walked to wash his hands and Mayuri followed. "One last question."

"Yeah, what's that."

"You seem a lot less formal than normal. Why?"

"I dunno. I guess I'm just... happy." Byakuya dried his hands and left.

"Happy? Maybe I should try that."

Byakuya walked back to the bar and sat down again.

"Byakuya, Lady Yuroichi and I were talking and we wanna see how fast it takes you to pick up a chick. I mean you are the best right."

Byakuya was embarassed, but he took the deal. He walked into a group of women at a table.

"Hello, ladies," he said.

They all looked at him like he was a typical bar rat.

"I know what you're thinking, but I'm a millionaire, I have a huge house with a pool, I'm widowed, I have a great job, and famous. That's about it." Just like that every girl crowded around him and flirted with him, "Sorry, I'm taken," he said and walked back to Yuroichi and Soi Fon. "Just like that."

"Nice," said Yuroichi, eyeing him up.

"Set 'em up with me looks, knock 'em down with my charm."

"Yeah, and where does your money come into the picture?"

"Well that's part of the charm part."

"Byaku-shi!"

"Oh for the love of God. Please no."

Yachiru jumped up from behind him and landed on his shoulder. "Byaku-shi, you look so cute. Haha, you're so funny I move in with you? Can I swim in your pool? Do you think I'm pretty? I think you're cute! You have such nice hair! Why are you so handsome and rich? You're perfect! Marry me! I dream about you! Do you like waffels? I do! Are you a virgin, Byaku-shi? Were you checking me out..." Byakuya shoved a bun in her mouth to shut her up.

"Go get Mr. Ayasegawa and Mr. Madrame over here please so I can ask them what the Hell they've been teaching you. Which since you probably don't know any of your subordinates last names you can just leave and forget I said anything. And since you won't leave I'll just ignore you."

Byakuya, Soi Fon, and Yuroichi continued to talk and ignore Yachiru until they left for the hotel. Let's just say by morning Byakuya was "happy" again.

* * *

It probably chould be rated something over T but who cares.


	4. 10th Division's Day

__

10th Division's Day

"Yoo hoo! Captain!" Rangiku Matsumoto peaked into the Captain of the 10th division's room.

Tochiro Hitsugaya was right in the middle of packing. He was annoyed but it was easier to talk to Matsumoto than ignore her, "What do you want now, Miss Matsumoto?"

"Aw, Captain, why so formal. I mean we are practiacally best friends. How about I call you Toshiro and you call me... hm, sweetie?"

"Not in either of our life times Rangiku."

"Hey, you just called me by my first name. We're really making progress." she walked in and sat on his recently made bed, "So I was thinking, since you and I are satying together in a room why don't we share a bed?"

"Wha-?!" Hitsugaya shouted in surprise and confusion.

Rangiku giggled, "it's so easy to scare you, Captain," Toshiro was relieved, but strangely a little disappoited, "I was only kidding. That is unless you don't want me to be."

Toshiro wasn't the type to oggle over women, but he could never be completely honest in front of Rangiku, "No! Now please get ready we're leaving in 10 minutes."

* * *

Toshiro and Rangiku boarded the plane and took off. A flight attendant came by after a while. She asked, "Welcome to our airlines. Would you like breakfast yet, ma'am? And would you son like any as well?" Toshiro's face went to his usual expression when someone calls him a little kid.

"No thank you. And he isn't my son. He's my husband." Toshiro's face became even worse.

"Uh..." The flight attendant didn't know what to say, "Oh, well... thanks for choosing our airlines." She ran/walked away. Probably to gossip with the other flight attendants.

"What the Hell is wrong with you, Matsumoto?"

"Don't worry. I just wanted to see the look on her face. And the one on yours wasn't bad either." She laughed a little.

Toshiro was too mad to enjoy Rangiku's cute little laugh. He liked it. Secretly he had a little crush on her. He could never say anything though. Rangiku was constantly being hit on and every guy wanted her. Why would she even be attracted to him.

* * *

Toshiro got on his swimming trunks and knocked on the bathroom door, "Rangiku?" he said, "Rangiku are you done getting ready yet?"

"Just a minute, Captain. I need to get my top on."

"Well hurry up."

"I could go faster if I had help."

"For the last time Rangiku, I will not undress you and put your bathing suit on you, alright."

"Fine. I'll just get another boy to do it."

Hitsugaya massaged his temples, "Alright Rangiku I'll help, but you have to promise not to try anything."

"Oh I would never, Captian." Toshiro waked in and Rangiku was sitting with her back toward him, "Could you tie me up?" Toshiro walked over and began to make the knot, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how pretty am I?"

Toshiro sighed, "I don't know, Rangiku."

"C'mon, I'll tell youo what I think you are."

"I don't know, Rangiku!"

"So you think I'm ugly."

"No, not really. I'm just..."

"So you do think I'm pretty."

"I didn't say that."

"Well than what are you saying."

"I'm saying..." Toshiro wanted to say she was a 10, but couldn't, "... you're knot's done."

Rangiku looked a little let down, "Oh... thanks, Captain..."

"Call me..." he sighed, "Toshiro."

Rangiku sqealed and hugged him half to death, "Oh I knew you'd come through. I just know were gonna have a great time, Toshiro." She kissed him on the cheek and left.

Toshiro just stood there. He's never been kissed before. Well once or twice by Momo, but he always saw her as a sister. He didn't wasnt to face Rangiku because his face was beet red.

"Toshiro," Rangiku called back, "are you coming?"

"Uh.. yeah." He followed Rangiku to the pool.

* * *

At the pool, Toshiro only got more stressed. Everyone was eyeing Rangiku. And her flirting back didn't help, "Rangiku, flashing around your body is a little degrading, don't you think."

"What's wrong, Capt- oops, I mean Toshiro?"

"What's wrong is that as you captain I'm in charge of you and parading around you features dishonors both you and the 10th division."

"Oh. Because if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous."

"Why would you say that."

"No reason."

Nothing angered Toshiro more than when Rangiku knew she was angering him. So he sat down and watched loser after loser attempt to pick up Rangiku. He had to do something. So he slid his chair over a little bit and put his arm around her.

"Oh Toshiro, you little devil."

"Hey," said another mullet head who came up to Rangiku, "I saw from across the pool. Is this your son?"

"That is it!" shout Toshiro, "I'm not her son! I'm her..."

"Husband," said Rangiku.

"No! I'm not her anything!" He shouted. He was so angry he didn't realize Rangiku running away, crying, "Oh crap," he said to himself.

* * *

Hitsugaya looked everywhere for Rangiku. He couldn't find her anywhere. Eventualy he found Nanao, "Hey, Nanao, have you seen..." he was cut off after she slapped him across the face, "What was that for?"

"For what you did to poor Rangiku. You should be ashamed."

Toshiro massaged his temples again and sighed, "I don't have time for this. Can you please just tell me where she is?"

"Why? So you can break her heart more?"

"No. I... I just wanted to apologize. I should've taken my ager out on her. I just need to say I'm sorry."

"Well she's at the Pleasure Island bar with the other girls. She so upset she can't even drink."

"Wow," thought Toshiro "I've never know Rangiku to turn down a drink.

* * *

Toshiro found her at the bar. Apparently all of the other girls have left since he didn't see any near her. He sat down beside her "Rangiku, I..."

"Don't she said. I just can'ttalk to you right now."

"Please, just hear me out. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper. It's you're so pretty and I... I didn't..."

"It's just that I thought we were getting so close for once. Not like how we've always been, but like... maybe if we put everything else aside. We could take that risk that I was always afraid to make."

"Rangiku, why? You know I care about you, I would never want to hurt you. So why would you hide anything from me?"

"Why. Maybe because you never showed intrest in me. Maybe because I was a afraid. Afraid of losing the one guy in the whole world I cared about. I don't know."

Toshiro wrapped his arms around Rangiku, "I love you," he whispered in her ear, "I love you so much," he pulled away, "I could never tell you because I never thought you liked me. I mean you can have any guy you want. Why me?"

She didn't say anything. She kissed him, for real this time. He kissed back. He even opened his mouth a little bit. She took this chance to slip her tounge into his mouth. They kissed passionatly for quite a while. From there on. Toshiro couldn't rember anything else. It didn't matter. This was all they needed in their story.


	5. Author's Note

Hey everyone, I wanted to put these up every couple of chapters to let you know what I was thinking. I wanted to do this for "Another Side, Another Story" but I just got bored with that so I quit. This time I'll do this to keep myself occupied so I can post as many chapters as possible. You don't have to read this, it's just a note I felt I should write. Consider it commentary. So yeah, thanks for reading my story. Reveiw it and tell me what you think.

11th Division's day:

I really liked this one. I thought it was funny. I really liked the 11th Division. I like how Yumichicka was bullied in a way. I think there was something in there where they called him 'slave' or something, I don't know. But yeah I like it. I thought the part at the end where they were drunk was pretty good and I based it off actual drunk people I know. I thought that That was something no one ever did before so yeah. I also included Unohana for some reason I guess I just needed a random chick to end the story which is gonna pose a problem when I do 'Elder's Day' with Unohana, Yamamoto, Ukitake, and Shunsui. I was gonna put her with Ukitake so I don't know how I can do that now.

Byakuya's Day:

I wanted to name this something about the 2nd Division but the title 'Byakuya and the 2nd Divisions Day' wasn't as good. So I just focused around Byakuya cause it was easier and his story would just unfold better. I didn't want to do a 12th Division's Day, but now I guess I have to because I put Mayuri in it. Actually I only put him there for comic relief. I didn't really like that part, but the story was too serious and needed a funny part which I didn't find it funny at all so I'm sorry that now we need a damned 12th Division's Day. I tried to put Soi Fon and Byakuya together, but couldn't because of Yuroichi. The part where Byakuya picks up chicks was something I wanted the show to do, but I figured I should instead since it's not really in Byakuya's character and Kubo wouldn't really.

10th Division's Day:

This is probably my least favorite story of the 3. It started out that since the 10th Division was my favorite division, I was going to make them last and have all of the stories come together there. But then I realized that I couldn't really do anything new with them that was creative and no one else has done. So the story wasn't really as funny as I'd hoped. I kinda wanted it to be humerous but with Hitsugaya's personality that would've been difficult. I wrote it at like 1 A.M so the grammer is off and the story is bad. I couldn't sleep so I got up and just slopped it together. I actually regret that, but there's nothing I can do besides write it over again and I don't dislike it that much to do that. I'm actually writing this directly after thier day so I'm still tired and the grammer is still off. I tried to picture what each scenario would look like and the part where Hitsugaya flips out was a block for me. Like I had no idea what to do to make him flip out. The only thing I could think of was make him mad then call him a little kid. All in all, this one isn't horrendous, I just think it could've been a lot better than it was.

Well that's it. It's about 2 in the morning her in England, so G'night.


	6. Betrayed's Day

__

The Betrayed's Day

Izuru, Shuhei, and Momo. They were former Lieutenants, however since the betrayal of Aizen, they were left without Captains. This means as second in command, it is there job to act as captains. This is difficult. They are young and don't know the first thing about leadership. The job of captains is very stressful on them and they really needed this vacation. Momo was taking it the best.

"What should we do first?" she was laying on the bed while the others were packing.

"I say we pack first," Shuhei was annoyed as he usually was, "and you just sitting around isn't helping much, Hinamori"

"C'mon, guys. This vacation was meant to leave all of this stress and tension behind for a few days. And if anyone needs it it's us," Izuru Kira was usually the voice of reason due to his need to please his friends.

"Whatever," Shuhei Hisagi's level head and calmness are his best features and worst assets. Sometimes they left him uncaring and he got easily annoyed.

"Yeah, and I'm starting by just resting for once," Momo Hinamori was upbeat and easy-going. Her heart was in the right place, but sometimes her personalities conflicted between her and Shuhei.

* * *

The plane ride was enjoyable for them. Izuru didn't talk much, he spent most of his time listening. He actually found conversations btween the two oppisite personalities amusing. It was charming until the plane landed and it was time for work again. After months of a captains duty, they were distressed by even the slightest amount of work. After the got off they met Captain of Squad 7, Sajin Komumora. He tought them a lot about being captains and for that they were very grateful.

"Good morning, kids. How was your flight?"

"It was alright I guess. The food wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad." Izuru took Sajin's bags.

"Says you. I thought it was downright awful." Shuhei followed.

* * *

At the park Shuhei, Momo, and Izuru wandered. Finding the rides a little too "kiddy" they mostly ate and watched shows. "So when are we meeting Captain Komumora?" asked Shuhei

"Oh crap, I forgot to tell you he didn't want to come. He was afraid that everyone would think he was a guy in a costume," Izuru was trustworthy with secrets.

"Well it's better than having him walk around with that dreadfull mask on. If you ask me no one is even honorable enough to face him."

"Well just don't ride him about it. He wore that mask for 50 years because of his shame."

"What is there to be ashamed of. He's a Captain of the Shinigami which translates to 'Death God'. With a name like that we should all be dogs."

"We should all be what?"

Shuhei stood scared in his tracks. he slowly turned around. Iba, Komumora's Lieutenant was right behind him, "Iba, my friend, moy dawg- I mean hommie."

"Yeah too bad your senses of honor are severely crippled, Hisagi."

"Well..."

"Speechless, I wish that feeling struck you more often. Now if you don't mid I have places to be."

"Like where, Iba, you have anything to do."

"As a matter of fact, Matsumoto is crying because she was rejected by Captain Hitsugaya. Vunerable hot chick," Iba ran away.

Izuru and Shuhei stared at each other and too ran after Iba.

"Men," said Momo, "I'm getting a slushi and finding Lil Shiro."

* * *

"There she is," Iba pointed at Matsumoto crying while Nanoa, Nemu, Retsu, and Isane comforted her, "I get first dibs," Iba moved in an came back a few seconds later with a red cheek.

"What did you say?"

"I said I can replace those tears with another body liquid."

"That sucked. That was ltierally the worst pick-up line ever."

"Well let's see you do better, Kira."

Izuru thought for a little while, "Okay, I'll try." He waslkedf up to the group of girls.

"Just back away Izuru, we know what you're thinking," said Nanoa.

"Well did you know I think Rangiku is a very attractive woman and doesn't deserve this. Look, I just want to talk to her, maybe buy her a drink, is that alright?"

Nanoa looked over him. She knew he was more sensitive than most of the other guys, "Sure, fine."

Izuru walked up to Matsumoto, "Hey, it's alright. Don't worry. It's okay. You're a completely attractive woman, you'll meet another man..."

* * *

"Can you believe it, Shuhei. He just walked right up and now they've ben talking forever. How does he do it."

"Well, he taught me to not think with my penis and think with my heart."

"How does he do that?"

"I have no idea."

* * *

After that day, the three went back to the hotel, exhausted. They weren't taking another vacation for a while.


	7. Elder's Day

_Elder's Day_

Shunsui Kyoraku, the Captain of Squad 8. He was Waiting in the airport with his lieutanant, Nanao Ise. Jushiro Ukitake and Retsu Unohana were helping Head Captain Yamamoto. He was sitting in a senior citizen's seat so he required more help, which he hates. Shunsui stood facing Nanoa. She had her hair up and was looking over prices and times. Personality wise they were complete opposites. He was dressed casually, she was dressed like a secretary at the office. He was slouching around, she was working. However, secretly they couldn't resist each other.

"Well, despite his pleas, we managed to get Gramps in the elderly seat," Jushiro Ukitake, the Captain of Squad 13. He blushed over at Retsu Unohana, Captain of Squad 4.

"Jushiro, you don't have to act like an embarassed schoolboy around me anymore. Were dating. Things are different now. Besides, I thought that with having a horn dog for a best friend you'd be more smooth," Unohana kissed Ukitake lightly before they boarded the plane.

"Unfortunately that 'horn dog' is also my..."

"Boyfriend," butted in Shunsui.

"I was going to say captain, but what ever helps you sleep at night, Kyoraku."

As everyone went to the boarding gates, Shunsui pulled Ukitake back, "Listen, Cassanova, you're dating one of the most beautiful women in the soul society, yet you still act like some nervous puberty-stricen 14 year old. Why?"

"Hmm. I don't really know. I guess I'm just not really as 'into' women as you are, Shunsui."

"That's another thing, what's up with the I'm all a horny, sex addicted, gutter minded, wierd, disrespectful, women hungry, pervert?"

"Well, mainly becuse you are a horny, sex addicted, guttet minded, wierd, disrespectful, women hungry, pervert."

"Oh yeah. Well you forgot ruggedly handsome."

"Whatever."

* * *

  
"Wow, this is a really nice hotel. Why don't we have stuff like this in the soul society?" asked Unohana.

"We don't really get visitors. Ya know since we have that barrier that only kido cannons can break." Shunsui was a little bit of a smart ass, but the others loved him anyway.

"Yeah and like Yamamo... Oh my God we forgot him on the plane!" screamed Ukitake.

Jushiro, Shunsui, Nanao, and Retsu ran back to the airport. By the time they got there their plane has already taken off. They could faintly hear, "I hate you all!" coming from the rear of the plane.

"Oh poo," They knew they were in for it once he got off.

* * *

The group went to the park and decide to wait it out.

"Well we better enjoy the time we have left... Before Yamamoto kills us," Jushiro was still shocked that they forgot their head captain.

"I'm sure the Head Captain won't be that mad. I mean we are like children to him," this was Nanoa's first time with the elder members.

"Honey, you have no idea. One time, Jushiro and I accidentally got him chicken-steak instead of steaked chicken. Let's just say there's a reason the call him The Head Captain for Hell." Shusui usually added stess to the captain's day. However Yamamoto always said that when Shunsui and Jushiro got together their shinnanigans always got them in terrible trouble.

"Ya know Shusui this is all your fault."

"How is it my fault?"

"You and Nanoa were supposed to get him since Unohana and I got him on the plane."

"Then why isn't this half Nanoa's fault."

"Because she doesn't have a record for getting us into these kind of problems."

"You're one to talk Mr. Second in Command when this happens."

Sunsui and Ukitake continued to fight.

"Does this happen often?" Nanoa whispered to Unohana.

"More than you'd think. More than you'd think."

* * *

"Wow it's been 5 hours and no word for Yamamoto. Do you think he's alright," Nanoa started to look worried.

"Relax, when airports find lost old people they just throw them in a home," Shusui said with a smile.

"You do mean a loving normal home, right?"

"Nope, an old folks home."

"That's terrible, Shusui," Ukitake butted in.

They were on a bus headed to the bar where Byakuya and Mayuri said to meet at. Once there they found all of the other Soul Reapers, unfortunately none of them were Yamamoto. Shunsui looked around. Which ultimately lead to Nanoa's chest. He looked away before she noticed. They ordered a few drinks then Rangiku came running in crying. They all watched.

"I'm gonna go see what her deal is." Nanoa left.

Shunsui continued to look around he saw it. A kareoke machine, "Hey, Cassanova, wanna..."

"No."

"You didn't even know what I was gonna say."

"I know you probably want to do kareoke. And I..."

"Actually," Unohana said, "I'd love to hear you two sing."

Jushiro looked over at Shusui, "Fine." They went up and whispered what song they were doing to each other. After a bit of arguing, they decided.

_(Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran)_

_Jushiro:  
Dark in the city, night is a wire  
Steam in the subway, Earth is a fire_

Both:  
do do do do do do dododo dododo dodo

_Shusui:  
Woman you want me, give me sign  
and catch my breathin' even closer behind_

_Both:  
do do do do do do dododo dododo dodo _

_In touch with the ground  
I'm on the hunt I'm after you  
Semll like a sound, I'm lost in a crowd  
and I'm hungry like the wolf  
Straddled in line, with discord and rhyme  
I'm on the hunt I'm after you  
Mouth is alive, with juices like wine  
And I'm hungry like the wolf_

Everyone in the bar calps and cheers. They sounded pretty good. and their spot-on dancing wasn't bad either. "Guys, that was amazing," said Unhana she planted a long a passionate kiss on Ukitake. After she let go, he had a zombie-like stare in his eyes and fainted.

"Well, maybe you have some civil talents," Nanoa said to Shunsui.

"So does that mean I get to 2nd base?"

"Maybe."

* * *

They sat in their seats while Unohana propped Ukitake up, "So what do you think about the 10th division?" Shunsui was playing a game called 'what do you think of this division'. They were on 10th.

"They fine."

"I love them."

"Okay, the 11th."

"Gah!" Unohana belted out, "I hate them. The always bully us especially Madarame and Ayasegawa. I wish I could just get back at them."

"Maybe you can," said Shusi smiling again

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there was this prank Ukitake and I pulled in training. Ya se it goes like this. You go up to them and seduce them. Okay, now they're so drunk they have no idea which way is up. You pretend to take them to their apartment and sleep with them, but really right before they walk into their apartment you run for it. they walk in together and the rest is up to them."

"Wow, that's genius. Jushiro really did that?" Nanoa was shocked at the two's ingenuity.

"That actually is a good idea," Unohana said, "but will it work."

"Listen Unohana, you're hot. They'll jump on you like monkey's on bananas."

Restu agreed to try. She walked over and she left with Yumichicka and Ikakku, "Now we follow them, Nanoa get on the same bus as them while I carry Smooth over."

On the bus Shunsui watched as Ikakku and Yumichicka lirted with Retsu. "Hey wanna know why he passed out, Nanoa."

"Sure."

"Tuberculosis, it kicks in everytime his heart races. I just wonder how he can bump uglies."

"I never knew he had a disease, but still, it's comments like that that take away chances of you getting lucky."

After Retsu left they went to their room There were only two beds so Unohana had to sleep with an unconsiese Jushiro while Shusui got lucky beside them.


	8. Yamamoto's Day

_Yamamoto's Day_

"I can't believe those bastards forgot. They fully forgot me. The Commander. I am the head honcho, the big cheese. They flippin' forgot me," Yamamoto thought to himself. He sat bitterly in the elderly chair.

"Escuse me, sir, could you tell me when the next stop is?" some old lady said to Yamamoto.

"Ma'am were on a plane. The next stop is in Salt Lake City."

"Oh. Well, my daughter said this was a bus. They saud I was going to the store."

"Ma'am how could you not notice we were on a plane. It's been 6 hours."

"Really. She put me on here yesterday."

"What?"

"Yeah she says I'm losing my memory, but I don't see it," Yamamoto just looked away, "Sir, do you think maybe you could take me to the store?"

The lady looked at Yamamoto. He didn't want to, but he couldn't ignore his captainly duties, "Okay... I will."

* * *

Yamamoto escorted the lady off of the plane and tried to leave. That is before he was stopped by the guards. He didn't understand much. According to Ukitake airports throw old people in "the home". Next thing he knew there was a middle aged woman standing over him asking him if he wanted pudding.

"No I don't want any cheap pudding. Go away!"

The lady hurried away. Yamamoto was on a rocking chair-

"Oh this chair feels good. Oh yeah. The rocking is nice. Ya know what, I do want pudding and I feel like putting a puzzel together. I like being old, dammit."

* * *

"What, you mean't I dressed for shuffleboard and we're playing bingo. What kind of prison camp is this?!?" Yamamoto yelled.

"Don't fret. You'll like bingo." The same old lady consoled Yamamoto.

After the bingo started Yamamoto loved it. He loved everything. The grilled cheese and tomamto soup, the sports that don't require any knid of movement, but most of all he like the daipers. He loved the daipers the most. After a few days he almost completely forgot about his time in the soul society. He bid his good byes to everyone and went to bed. Everyone waited on him hand and foot. In the morning he got up. There were strange people in the room. Youngsters.

"Old man Yama!" he recognized that voice. Shunsui ran towards him followed by Jushiro, Nanoa, and Unohana, "We're here to take you back. We are so sorry we forgot you. Just c'mon, we have to get out while they nurses aren't looking."

"Whoa hold up. I don't want to go back."

"What?" They all said

"Sir, what are you saying," Ukitake tried to get his senses back, "you don't belong here. You're a powerful smart man. We need you. You'relike a father to us-"

"Hold up, Cassanova," Shunsui gave it a try, "Sir... they're serving tapioca tonight."

"What! They said it was tropical! Pack my bags! Get me out of this Hell hole!" Yamamoto ran to get his things.

"Shunsui that was amazing," Unohana said, "How did you do it."

"Easy. Old poeple tend to be irrational... And Yamamoto hates tapioca."


	9. Author's Note 2

Hey, me again. These last three stories were pretty good.

Betrayed's Day:  
This was called "Betrayed's Day" because they were the three betrayed by Aizen, Gin, and Kaname. Anyway not many people know about them so I desided to write about them to explain their pesonalities and duties. I didn't like it for me, but all in all I think it was a good story just not one I would like. I like how I included Sajin and Iba into the story since they greatly influenced those three, but I didn't want to write a 7th Disvision Day because I don't really know much about them. I actually didn't know much about Izuru, Momo, and Shuhei but I researched my ass of and I really like how I displayed their personalities.

Elder's Day:  
This was by for my favorite story. I thought it was funny and showed their personalities really well. I really liked how Ukitake left Yamamoto on the plane, which opened up a lot more chapters so yeah I liked it alot. I tried to show Shunsui's realationship with Nanoa to the best I could, but with Nanoa's personality it wasn't easy. I think I got Unohana and Ukitake's personalities on the dot. They were perfect. I put Unohana and Ukitake together to show their relationship in contrast to Sunsui and Nanoa. I think I showed my best writing when I found a way around Unohana going home with Ikakku and Ymuichicka. And I liked the kareoke and Hungry like the Wolf is my all time fave song. And anyone who thinks I say that from Rock Band can hang themselves because anyone who gets anything personal from a video game has no life and Rock Band just takes good songs and has obsessive nerds ruin them. But I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Yamamoto's Day:  
I don't have mush to say about this one exccept it was meant to be a comedy. I think they don't show Yamamoto enough and when they do he's being ingnorant. This was to show a funner side of Yama. And btw I would've used his real name but I couldn't remember it or spell it and I remeber Yamamoto because it's a really good Japenese resturant. It helps me spell his name. I tried to use old people stereo types to write this and I think I did it right but that's for you to decide. And I used the dumbest excuse possible to get him to leave the home and it was stupid and irrational and I loved it.

R&R


End file.
